Mikhail Efimovich Litvak - the candidate of medicalsciences and a well-known psychotherapist, conducted research in the purposeful modeling of emotions, intellectual nirvana, oratorical art for developing techniques for resolving conflict and conflict situations in the family and at work. "Psychological Aikido" is also one of the methods developed by him, successfully implemented in the practice of counseling families, administrators, businessmen and managers.
Method of psychological aikido
In controversial situations, when it is necessary to exercisecommon sense and calmness of the spirit, when it is necessary to change the "opponent" and make it so that he does not feel offended, but voluntarily follows your position, the tactic of "psychological aikido" works particularly effectively.
Aikido wrestler falls in the direction in whichit is pushed by the enemy. At the same time, he drags an opponent with him, a little energy - and he is already at the top, using the strength of his opponent. The principle of psychological aikido is based on the same - on depreciation, but only in communication. If you are pushed from a height, that is, imposed a fall, then you initially amortize, trying to extinguish the consequences of the push, and only then you get to your feet.
Fundamentals of psychological aikido
Psychological aikido is the most flexible andeffective tactics to resolve disputed and conflict situations. In particular, if the opponent is actively resisting. Before attacking the enemy, it is necessary to extinguish his resistance, that is, to remove his desire to object and prove. We need to arrange it to ourselves, make it acceptive and understanding, and only then can we start persuading. So the psychotherapist Litvak considers. "Psychological Aikido" is based on a clear and rapid conviction with reliable arguments. Excellent, if in your objections you use metaphors and truisms. Your speech should be beautiful and long. Various deceptive moves and tricks should be cleverly conspired. The opponent's position needs to be destroyed flexibly and technically, smoothly turning to his proposal.
That is, psychological aikido does not implyfull negation of the opponent's position, initially you support it and only then go to your weighty arguments. As a result, you not only keep up the enemy, but also strengthen your relations with him. This is another conclusion that the therapist Litvak ME did. "Psychological Aikido" excludes the emergence of conflicts, tension and irritation in communication.
At work and at home quite often arisesituations where conflicts develop in one scenario, and you can anticipate in advance how the partner behaves in this or that scenario. This knowledge can also be used in the methodology of "psychological aikido" for preventive depreciation. Carnegie said this way: "Tell yourself about what your accuser was going to say, and you will deprive him of wind sails!" Do preventive depreciation at work. To do this, it is enough to come to the boss and inform him about his mistakes, without waiting for his criticism.